I found VT a man that said "ur a good mom really good mom. I want u to remins to ur self great quotes that the world you are a mom. And to the kids you world. They love u more than anything. Proud of you. Way to go today, tomorrow another one".
When i heard this, I was moved to tears. I mean i really needed to hear this, bcz its not easy working at home while ur baby crying. take overtime at office also not easy anymore. We can say "the whole world, the body, the time" not yours anymore. Sadly, but true.
You have a lot of work but again when the nanny comes home, it's time for you to take over because the baby instinctively looks for its mother. and no one can be trusted to look after the baby.
Trust me, I don't even trust anyone except my mother. because when I was at the office, my mother was even willing to let me chat without replying and was busy playing with the baby. not busy carrying him to put him to sleep and then leaving him. but really look after him and play with him.
There are moments when I want my baby to fall asleep quickly so I can get back to work.
Am I not such a bad mother? thoughts like this because I want to finish my work immediately. But that doesn't mean I don't enjoy thia motherhood. Just as a mom, working is really tiring. I would like to have a massage chair, I would like to go to the spa every day, but I'm not a rich person who can spend time on that.
So it makes sense that I don't want children with short distances. In the end I will get even more dizzy and I'm worried that I won't be mentally prepared and hurt one of my children. I want a 4 year gap for my second child. because I want to stay sane and healthy in body and soul.
Believe me, being a mother is a complicated feeling
