Angry and sadness always hit me and of coursr feel lonely
I mean there is question that I always keep asking to my self "why wasn't I enough?"
I know he said that others girls doesn't mean anything, but he interested right? So that's why he always contact them when he feel lost, lonely or burnout
I mean I always there for him, support him no matter what I feel or my condition. But why he didn't see that?
I keep angry think that he is so cruel, and then I cried again and again
But its like chaos, How I can stop about it? That I dont have mean anything for him
I feel like I am victim and hurting so much but the other side I feel like I am witch with heartless. Its like I want stabbed back him too but I cant
I think I really going crazy
I always avoiding the kind of this relationship. I wont make our relationship into toxic.
I always trying to fix my self, I always want my partner see me for my best side. I really want be best partner, best human being, best spouse of wife and best mother. But he ruined every step that I make with his short relationship.
I really want my relationship to truly work. I keep searching how can I make this happen after infidelity. But how I take care of my relationship while I am still bleeding?
I really hate this emotional roller coaster
I know people can change of course, and he can be better person more than I know before.
But I just wanna see every move from him even though small things and I want truly trust him by smallest statement and promise from him. But he always trying ask me how far he fight for and not only me.
I am the one who fooled by him and I just do not want to feel the same pain again
How dare him hurting me like this
I mean I am doing my best thing for him, but why I need to feel his bad side?
Why I dont feel like my relationship never be same now?
I just tired holding on hoping and love
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